Ordained Pastor in the United church of Christ
Blog
The Ever-widening Circle:
Finding Family in Shared Hearts
“How very good and pleasant it is when kindred live together in unity”
Psalm 133:1
In the quiet moments of reflection, many of us look back at the "family" of our childhoods—a portrait often framed by bloodlines, shared last names, and the familiar branches of a genealogical tree. For generations, this traditional structure provided the primary map for where we belonged. It was a sturdy foundation, but as the seasons of our lives have changed, so too has the landscape of our homes.
Today, we are witnessing a beautiful, quiet evolution. The definition of family is softening and expanding, moving beyond the strict boundaries of biology to encompass the deep, soulful connections we forge along the way. We are discovering that "kin" is not just a matter of DNA, but a matter of shared commitment, spiritual kinship, and the intentional choice to walk through life together.
This shift isn't a departure from the value of our heritage; rather, it is a widening of the table. In our modern world, we often find the essential graces of family—unconditional support, emotional safety, and spiritual guidance—in unexpected places.
It is found in the neighbor who checks in every morning, the lifelong friend who knows your story better than your own siblings, and the community of chosen loved ones that carries you through seasons of grief and joy. These "chosen families" remind us that belonging is a gift we can both give and receive, regardless of our origins. When we call someone "family," we are making a sacred promise to show up, to listen, and to love.
There is a timeless, pastoral peace found in this inclusive way of living. It echoes the ancient heart of Psalm 133:1:
"How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!"
This scripture speaks to the soul of what it means to be a family. It doesn't demand a specific household configuration or a legal certificate; it celebrates the goodness and the pleasantness of harmony itself. When we widen our circle to include those we choose as our own, we are practicing this very unity. We are declaring that our "people" are those who join us in the work of building a compassionate, interconnected life.
As we look toward the future, let us embrace this broader vision of what it means to belong to one another. The strength of a family has never truly been found in the walls of a house, but in the strength of the relationships built within them.
By opening our hearts to a wider definition of family, we don't lose our traditions; we breathe new life into them. We create more seats at the table and more hands to hold during the difficult chapters. Whether we are joined by birth, by choice, or by a shared spirit, the most "good and pleasant" thing we can do is call one another home.
A Prayer for Family
Gracious God, we thank you for the gift of belonging. Whether through the bonds of blood or the grace of choice, we thank you for the people who walk beside us. Bless our homes, however they are gathered, and help us to be a family to the lonely and a sanctuary for the weary. May we always strive for that unity that is both good and pleasant in your sight. Amen.
“Into the Deep”
A Reflection on UCC General Synod 35
By Rev. Amie McCarthy
The UCC General Synod is always an exciting and meaningful event for our denomination. This year, I had the privilege of being a delegate from the Southern New England Conference at the Synod in Kansas City, Missouri. The theme, “Into the Deep,” was inspired by Jesus’s call to Simon Peter to "Put into the deep water," and it encouraged all of us to dive deeper into our faith and our commitment to action. For me, Synod felt like the ideal church experience. Delegates from each conference represent the diverse voices of our denomination, and their role is far more than just voting. It's about deep listening, reflection, and discerning where God is calling the church to go next. This sense of calling was deeply honored and felt by everyone there. One of the most memorable moments was during a tense plenary session when a young delegate, no more than ten years old, approached the microphone. He said he wanted to tell a few jokes to lighten the mood. For a full minute, he had the entire room of 2,000 people laughing and cheering. This brave young delegate reminded us to take a breath and remember that God’s love and grace are present in both the tense and the joyous moments. He showed us that God’s "still speaking" voice also calls us to find joy in the work we do together. What was most inspiring for me was seeing every generation sit as equals in every discussion. Whether speaking for or against a resolution or in small, informal groups, all five generations of the church were represented, heard, and valued for their unique perspective on how God is speaking to us today. Another powerful moment came during our closing worship service. The sermon, preached by Rev. Antony Coleman, compared many of our churches to "tidy, well-manicured lawns" rather than the "wild, spirit-led diverse meadows of the early church." He challenged us with a powerful question: "What would it look like if we let go of control, did radically less, and allowed God to guide the growth? What if we let parts of our ministry grow more freely, more organically, more deeply?” Since returning home, this question has guided my reflections. What if we allowed ourselves to be less rigid in our structure? What if we let the Holy Spirit guide us instead of insisting on cumbersome, traditional methods? What could grow if we stopped doing "what we've always done"? I’m ready to embrace the wild and allow creativity to flow, trusting that God's "still speaking" voice is working in and through me. I'm ready to go “Into the Deep” with all of you, trusting that God is already there, inviting us in.
Morning Prayer August 11, 2025
On this new day, Lord,
Make me watchful
for all that you are doing in the world;
keep me faithful,
that I may do your will in all things;
and hold me in your grade,
as I seek to do the same for all I meet. Amen.
A prayer at the Beginning of the Day
Divine Light of Dawn,
As you give birth to this day and all its possibilities,
Allow our bodies to be revived by your Spirit.
May our aches drift into the wind
And our fatigue soaked up by your strong soil.
We inhale your strength and courage.
We exhale grace and love.
As the sun continue to rise in the Eastern sky
May we see the possibilities of justice in the hours ahead of us. Allow our senses to absorb the stories of our siblings.
Awaken us to the reality of our neighbors.
Fill our minds with focus and our hearts with compassion. Amen.